Hayden Manton Chase Tatman Memorial Minute

Hayden Manton Chase Tatman, son of Deana Chase and Blair Tatman, and brother of Cooper Thayer Chase Tatman, died suddenly and unexpectedly on August 20, 2002.  He was twenty-four years old.

From the age of eight into his college years, Hayden lived across the street from the Westport Friends’ Meeting house, where his parents were members and caretakers of the meeting.  Hayden had no choice but to grow up in the meeting, albeit often reluctantly: he resisted First Day school but became engaged in retreats and Yearly Meeting.  Young Adult Friends (YAFs) were the first to fully get his attention.  At Westport Meeting he was well known for his occasional quiet presence on the northwest corner bench, usually reading quietly during worship.

School was a series of challenges for Hayden.  Elementary school was a struggle until a year’s respite at the Paul Cuffee School, named after Westport’s famous Quaker.  Four years at Moses Brown as a ‘real’ Quaker saw Hayden mature into a genuinely thoughtful human being.  Sympathetic teachers and others helped him to keep working on what being a Quaker meant. His wry humor, wit, and striving for integrity often played important parts.  His friends and activities were exceptionally diverse, from pottery to Latin, trench coats and Magic cards, and wrestling manager to spring musicals—where he became Harry the Horse in Guys and Dolls and the Mysterious Stranger in Into the Woods.  His friends at MB were life long.

From Moses Brown, Hayden moved on to Guilford College in Greensboro, North Carolina.  He was a member of the Quaker Leadership Program, where he continued to develop his own ideas of “Quaker” and “leadership.”  He majored in philosophy, studied Japanese and spent a semester in Japan, and was always involved with computers.  His long brown hair eventually became short, and after graduation Hayden worked in Greensboro for a small firm that published web magazines on the internet.  He told his family that he was committed to staying at that job for 12 months as a matter of principle.

When the 12 months were over, Hayden decided to return to Westport to relax and plan his next move.  At home he resumed his long-standing passion for games of all sorts (often playing deep into the night) and continued drawing others into his circle.  He was playing one of those games with three friends when he collapsed suddenly, his heart having given out after an attack from a virus.

There were two Memorial Meetings at Westport, one just for the young people.  His extended family and friends recalled his spirit of adventure, his familiarity with being lost (never having mastered “left” and “right”), his imagination, and his willingness to share in games or conversation.

For Cooper and his friends, Hayden was a big brother.  He sent out ripples of influence that touched many people.  His friends and family will carry Hayden with them as they continue their journeys and adventures.  Farewell Friend.

Approved by Westport Monthly Meeting at its Meeting for Business held on the Twentieth day of the Seventh month, 2003.

Howard Baker-Smith
Clerk