Phyllis Brightman Memorial Minute

1916 – 2009

At the May 9, 2009 Meeting for Worship held at Westport Friends Meeting in memory of Phyllis Brightman (1916 – 2009) we discovered new facets to the life and spirit of a woman who lived simply yet fully, with purpose and conviction. Ever planful, Phyllis herself had mapped out the service before her passing, providing this personal statement that illustrates her life: “Many folks perhaps would look at my life and think that it’s not such a wonderful life — but to me it has been good. I think I learned to appreciate early the feeling of being loved by family and friends.”

As Friends and family shared memories of Phyllis, the wonder of her life and her gifts came more clearly into focus: the array of her life’s work as a home economist, dietician, tour guide, and docent; the color and design in her quilting projects, her collections (button, shells, stamps), and her put-together outfits; her unwavering presence and her interest in our children and our children’s children; our delight at discovering her gift for laughter and humor. “The Day Phyllis Shared Her Shell Collection With the First-Day Children,” a moment collectively remembered in Westport Meeting as magical and awe-inspiring for both young and old, captures a key part of what it was to know Phyllis Brightman. She was a faithful presence who, as befitting her Yankee heritage, revealed herself in glimpses and over time, offering up new angles, different hues, and a rich variety of experience perhaps most evident when collected and re-collected through shared memory.

A Westport native and a long-time member of Westport Friends Meeting, Phyllis remained in touch with our community even throughout her years of schooling at Temple University and work in Philadelphia. She modeled constancy, friendly concern, and steady support. Phyllis focused her energies on our adult and children’s libraries, religious education, Ministry and Counsel, and faithful attendance at Meeting for Business. Ever mindful of our historical connections with the community and with the legacy of Paul Cuffee, Phyllis was the driving force for a 1998 Westport Meeting Homecoming. On a broader level, she was deeply committed to issues of peace and social justice. Even in her 80’s and 90’s Phyllis regularly attended events dedicated to the peace testimony and efforts to promote diplomacy over military intervention. Her support for gay Friends was clear; her unwavering words of encouragement helped consolidate the consensus-building process that led to our meeting’s decision to sponsor what was among the first legally recognized gay marriages in Massachusetts.

For her Memorial Service, Phyllis Brightman chose “I Would Be True,” a hymn that sums up the sense of her life in the spirit: “I would be friend of all the foe, the friendless;/ I would be giving and forget the gift;/I would be humble, for I know my weakness;/ I would look up, and laugh and love and lift.”

We are grateful for her memory and for her abiding presence among us.

Approved at Business Meeting, January 10, 2010