A Memorial Minute for Ruth and John Jennings
There is no choice
but to immerse oneself
in the stream of history……
Failure to accept responsibility,
Refusal to take a stand
On vital issues,
Timid rejection of the ties
Of a true belonging –
These are the denials of life.”
. . . William Ernest Hocking found among Ruth’s writings
We recognize that usual Friends’ practice is that each member receives their own memorial minute. Our experiences with John and Ruth were most often as a couple, and so we write this as we knew them. Ruth White Jennings, a member of Westport Monthly Meeting, and John Darling Jennings, who never joined the Religious Society of Friends, were as caring and committed to each other as they were to bringing peace and justice to our world. They were faithful members of our Peace and Social Concerns Committee. Their granddaughter wrote of Ruth’s amazing intelligence and creativity and how she “cared deeply about her family, friends, social issues, the arts, and especially about being an active member of this Quaker Meeting” .
Many of the current Westport members and attenders came to know Ruth and John through request for prayers for them in their declining years, and through Ruth’s occasional attendance at worship. As Ruth’s dementia progressed and John’s stroke kept both homebound, we were kept updated on their health mainly by their Westport children, Carol and Jack and the grandchildren. Along with their younger brother Jim from New York, and Ruth’s brother L. Brett White, and the help of other relatives, friends, and care-givers, Ruth and John received years of loving care, a reflection of strength of the family they created.
Through their memorial services we learned that John and Ruth met at dancing school in their early teens. This was the beginning of their life-long friendship as well as their love of dancing together. Later Ruth would leave her budding career as an opera singer, to marry John and follow him in his career as an educator. We knew John through his Westport business, Jennings Real Estate, rather than the family history of John as a beloved father, grandfather, teacher and mentor. We heard of how John was called to serve as the headmaster of the Oakwood Friends School in Poughkeespie, NY where their children attended. Ruth, then, began her long career as the perfect hostess and mother to the students as well as their own children.
Many of the stories that unfolded during their memorial services were new to us, again an indication of John and Ruth’s modesty about their accomplishments. We learned from the various family members who were a part of Tarra Walla, a summer camp started by John in the mid 50’s, what a fun loving family the Jennings were. But this camp was not just a family camp, they welcomed Jews and African Americans and other minorities. Skeptics were amazed that this integrated camp flourished for over a decade.
When they sold their house in Cheshire, Connecticut, they received several bids. One was from a consortium of neighbors who asked to meet or exceed the offer from the couple they had seen viewing the house, an African American family with young children. This couple loved the house and wanted to live in this nice area. The neighbors were not pleased when Ruth and John declined their more profitable offer, and soon after integrated the neighborhood.
During the 60’s and the Viet Nam protests, in an attempt to keep the Oakwood faculty and students informed, John invited speakers from all sides of the current controversial issues. The school’s curriculum included a black history course and the students took field trips into Harlem. It is not surprising that the inevitable knock on John and Ruth’s front door came, the FBI looking into un-American activities. We knew of their passion for attending anti-war protests or joining organizations such as planned parenthood and attending community artistic events. Although some of us had known them for a long time, we were delighted to hear the details of Ruth or John’s earlier social and political activism.
In her journal Ruth reflected : “I know I’m happier when I feel creative. I know I’m freer and relate better to people when I’m not in a role, or didn’t see them in a role. Somehow, someway, we must become more creative and less destructive as a nation, but I’m convinced we have to start in our own homes and communities.” Although these are Ruth’s words, we attest that this is what both she and John lived.
Ruth also described how she wanted to be perceived and remembered:
“Skilled in some way—so that people who are accomplishing much towards peace and justice come to my home for relaxation and pearls of wisdom. I present an image of disciplined, well managed time—order—simplicity, but music and laughter abound—love—warmth.”
This is how we remember both John and Ruth.
Westport Monthly Meeting
Approved, May 22, 2011